Here I am.

So, hard decisions in life. You may know by now how strongly I feel about homeschooling and taking a very active role in educating my son. I also feel very strongly about staying in our (inexpensive) house, and maintaining stability. Several weeks ago, it became very apparent that things were just not working, and I needed to start searching for a “real” job. ANY job. Even part time at minimum wage. I don’t have friends and family nearby who can watch my boy and/or help with his schooling while I look for a job, and then while I am working. I have spent months searching for something I could do that would have the right hours and days to let me keep homeschooling. It wasn’t happening. So we decided that public school was an inevitability this year, and that it was better to make the choice to put him into a public school and try to get a job so we can stay in our home than it is to lose everything and be forced to use the public school system.

So my son has been in public school for four weeks now. Except this week. God bless him. He’s been home sick all week.

So, that’s where we are right now. I am still looking for the job, but I can at least have my days right now to go to interviews and things like that. I am at the mercy of his dad on a car though. I’ve been driving his car since July, and this week he decided he needed it back. So I am now a public school mom with no car to get to work once I can find a job.

I am frustrated beyond words, and I really, desperately need your prayers. Roo is struggling hard at school. He keeps getting into trouble, because he always HAS to be right, have the last word, be the boss, etc. He’s trying so hard to adjust, and he really wants to want to be there. I want him to have a really positive experience there. I want this to be something GOOD for him. I want it to be good for our family. I want us to come through this stronger, wiser, and better off. But it’s hard for a jumpy little kangaroo to adjust to a new environment when he’s supposed to do as he’s told and be quiet about it. It’s been miserable that he’s been sick this week, but I have to confess that I’ve really missed having him at home during the day. Alas, next Monday morning he’ll be back on that bus, off to a world where I can’t help him.

I am struggling with this decision a month in. Please, please pray for us.

In other news, we’ve had our Joey dog a year today! He’s my pumpkin puppy. He came to us last Halloween a broken, starved, heartworm-positive dog with some “questionable” lung and stomach problems. But we saw our vet last week, and Joey is officially a well-adjusted, well-fed, PERFECTLY HEALTHY HEARTWORM NEGATIVE DOG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Glory to God! My puppy is all better. So, I have been saying, now that he’s perfectly healthy, we know he really IS lazy and useless. Good for him! He can be pampered and lounge about all day.

Roo turns seven next Friday. That just amazes me. How did my tiny baby get so big? It’s incredible. For his birthday, he asked for a cool chair and a reading nook in his bedroom, a model of the solar system, a rug, and a sweater made from Plymouth Galway yarn in this cool electric blue color. My dad is giving me his AWESOME sleeper sofa, so I put made over Roo’s room with his favorite recliner. There’s nowhere to FIT a model of the solar system, but we found an AMAZING rug that answers that question. And it’s not too expensive. I have all but one skein of the Galway yarn and the pattern for his sweater. I told him it won’t be done on his birthday, but I’m working on it, and that’s good enough for him. He’s really a great kid.

I am currently working on reconfiguring pretty much the entire house to make a space for that sleeper sofa. I will update on that shortly, as progress is made. I won’t be a stranger anymore. Really. I’ve just been struggling a lot, and trying to figure out how to post about the public school issue that broke my heart.

As always, I deeply appreciate your prayers and your comments.